Feminine Mystique

Susan A. Jones

In reading passages from Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique, I have to keep reminding myself, that the time she speaks of wasn’t that long ago. The cage that women allowed themselves to be put into was atrocious. It sounds like a different America, at least for some people. Growing up in an African-American household, I don’t remember my father pleading with my mother to stay home and take care of the children. On the contrary, not only did my mother hold down a full-time job, but we as children were forced to learn at an earlier than normal age to take care of ourselves. The reality was that mom wasn’t washing our clothes, making us dinner, and all the other niceties still reflected on television today, being done in the lily white homes of “Seventh Heaven”. Having said that, I have no envy towards those households in the least. Watching my mom hold down a household of five taught me much of what I’m finding I need to survive in the real world.

The mere fact that both parents are in the workforce gives children a balanced view of life. Households that still cater to those old stereotypical ways of the woman staying home barefoot and pregnant, while the chief goes out hunting, are laughable. In my world it just doesn’t exist, anymore. Oh I remember going to friends’ homes and finding their moms in the kitchen after school, and thinking “wow, can’t she find a job?” On the other hand, my friends would be amazed that not only could I whip up a dinner for four, but that my sister could give me permission to go out to play. Some may argue that I was an unsupervised wild child allowed to do whatever, but no, no, no, I had probably more rules and regulations than most kids because I had the potential to burn down the house, or hang out with the wrong element.

The limited time spent with my mother was such quality--she worked overtime to instill morals and values, so at times when there was no one to tell me right from wrong, I still knew.
The advantages of a two-income household far outweighed the disadvantages. More money means a better living environment, better schooling, better nutrition, family vacations, not to mention fewer spousal disagreements due to financial woes. Yes, the importance of both parents being in the lives of their children at a young age is extremely important; however, once the child starts school, the load is a bit lightened. The sacrifices made by the woman (not all but mostly made by the woman), can be “rewarded” with being able to continue the path she was following prior to entering motherhood. Although that plan may be altered a bit, she is relieved of the assumption that only her life has to change in the joint decision to start a family.

That old myth that women who succeeded were considered less feminine is a crock. The women who I most admire and who the world looks up to are not sitting home raising the children. I’d like to know when a woman was awarded the Nobel or Pulitzer for her efforts of being a great caregiver at home; even Mother Theresa had to “work.” When a woman makes the Fortune 500 list as a top earner for holding down a household, I’ll be the first to get that “Mommy Degree,” but for now I’m content to walk a path that will first allow me to even afford to have a child.

Ms. Friedan says, “As a housewife and mother, she was respected as a full and equal partner to man in his world.” If that were so back then, then women really came to their senses in the mid 80’s when they started to demand husbands pay wages equivalent to those who were in the “outside” workforce.

That created another can of worms, forcing the issue of just how valuable the woman’s work really was. I think the outcome speaks for itself, and that’s why there are more women in the workforce today, earning and competing for the very jobs once coveted by men only.

Susan is in her second year at SMC. She is studying International Business and is considering transferring to USC. This is her second article for “Voices”