Journey From the Darkness

Ellen Irving©

Tentacles reaching out to engulf me in the tight grasp of darkness....each tentacle pulling me further down, down to Hades, deep, deep down to the darkness, the earth covering me, not letting me breath or feel the air or sun on my face. The pain at the head, humongous and snickering; each tentacle another deficit, another mistake, another mark against me, crimes committed by and against me, pain that hauls a punch at my heart, hurling me further down, down, down to the darkness of depression, wanting to consume me until I disappear into the darkness. But the light burns unconsumed. The light flickers, surrounded by the darkness but unconsumed, lingering, lingering, waiting to be stoked. Then for a brief, brief moment it burns bright promising hope, promising a way out of the darkness, but it is untended, no one and nothing to feed it, to embrace it.....so it withdraws, and I am hurled back into the arms of depression, and all I can do is weep......weep and pray as I linger there.

Slowly, the High One hears me and leads me, one stone at a time, one foot on each stone to climb up to the light. Under each stone is Mother Earth, solid, and embracing with bouquets of flowers in a plethora of colors and fragrances in bloom to greet me. “You are safe now...We are here, we will guide you. We will send our children to show you the way, big and small, they will take you to the mountain top, they will lead you to your dreams, and put you on the path to glory. We will always be with you; we will no longer let the Evil One consume you. His head will roll and his tentacles will fall away, and redemption will be yours. You will dwell in the light and love will find you wherever you venture forth.”

And so it is that the High One led me to the light, sending messengers to lead me on my climb from the abyss. The light is growing stronger, brighter, and the tentacles fall away, supplanted by the arms of sisters and new brothers, and children and mothers, love reaching out to me, pulling me forward and guiding me further up the mountain, further on my journey to Oneness, further towards my wholeness.

The scars remain, but faded now beneath the cover of new skin. Time and love heal...joy replaces the pain...light flows breaking through the darkness which lingers in the shadow...waiting to overtake me, but it can’t overtake me, because the High One and His Beloved enfold me in the arms of Their protection and I am safe, as long as I keep on the path. Yet if I fall from the path, They are there to embrace me, lift me up and set me straight again...to move more carefully now to the mountain top, closer to Them in my fullness, in my humanness that also possesses the Divine, as even those of their children who are too blind to see it. And my heart is open...knowing that the arrows will still fly toward it, but also knowing They will close the wound, seal it with Their love and my heart will be yet stronger.