My Monologue Experience

Charity Tooze

As a participant in the Vagina Monologues, I was proud to share just a few stories that represent thousands of stories, stories that transcend time, race, and religion.

Before the show, I had worked with the fervor of a seasoned director, choosing the amber lights to drench the women, the haunting blue to elicit empathy, the shocking red that pungently accentuated my favorite piece "My Angry Vagina".

The weeks leading into this were filled with rehearsals, during which we let the material become us as we gently guided each other through our material. Rehearsal allowed us to become the collective call of women, a place where the boundary of countries or borders were broken, and we were all sisters.

I held this show, as I do all of my work, with sacred reverence and profound respect. I am a believer that magic can happen in a moment, that inspiration can transform, and that emotional upheaval can validate somber, hidden, and ecstatic stories that lay like dormant volcanoes in all of us. We were the announcers of the collective stories of womanhood. Some stories were heart-wrenching, some embarrassing, all were profound and organic. The woman's story is something I have been a devoted informant and facilitator of for the past six years publicly. This was not just a play for me; it was socially transformative theater. These stories and women are my life, and the striving for a safe place for all of us occupies nearly all of my waking moments. So the show's message bled into my life and fed my sight.

I am inspired by Demeter and Persephone. The myth goes…The earth opened and Haiti, the God of the underworld, kidnapped Persephone. Demeter went to all the gods, and no one seemed to mind that Persephone was gone. Zeus decided to let Haiti have her. Demeter, outraged by her oppression in her patriarchal society, retreated to her sorrow. Demeter and Persephone were the fertility goddesses, and as they retreated, the plants, animals, and light of the earth drooped and then died. Finally Zeus noticed and demanded Persephone be returned. I think of this myth as I continue to hear stories of young girls being taken by the gods of the underworld. We must rise up! The abundant fertility and reverence of the feminine is quickly disappearing and no one seems to be noticing. We must recommit to honoring the power of the feminine. This is why the Vagina Monologues are so important.

The monologues are necessary for communicating awareness of an ancient epidemic, and the continued resistance that has always existed, not only by women but all oppressed people. We cannot passively pretend that everything is fine, not now, not in the twenty-first century. This horror bleeds into me, haunts me, drives me. I am inspired to make change by the endless power of the goddess, the gorgeous power of women, the forever-commitment of breaking social silence, and the opening of Pandora's box so that all of us may heal.

As I busted into My Angry Vagina my "taboo" words were met with free laughter and support. The playful joy of being a six year old who states that what makers her vagina special is "it has a really really big brain" and that her vagina smells like "snowflakes" was a delicious and pure expression of the gorgeous yoni, cunt, vagina, hairy dug-out ect… Being part of the embodiment of the monologues by Katie Morris, Sabrina Love, Alexis, Jen Pensar, Candy and myself, was both an awe inspiring and beautiful experience. The commitment these women have to being advocates and activists is impeccable, sobering, and transformational. I hope that the wave of this work ripples into people's personal stories, and that all of us learn to bow to the sacred reverence of both women and men. I pray we never stop, never give up, and always speak out against injustice through art, through humor, and through theater. It was a gracious pleasure to be involved in this project. Thank you Vagina Monologues.